Rallye Des Jonquilles
SKCC joins our French friends for a Tulip Rally.
This is the 5th Rally that we have been invited to and what a great Event this is. Open to classics and ‘hand built’ cars it’s a lovely jaunt through the Pas De Calais Region on some winding backroads.
PART 1 – breakfast in England (for those that had it), lunch in Belgium, Dinner in France
For the first time I was looking forward to a French rallye with my own car and a navigator. With my folks present on childcare duties, Mrs Mango was coming along to guide us to a rallye win.
I had put together not only the usual set of ITN route files but more significantly a timing schedule which was purely a guide and not to be taken as gospel, of course. Those who have been out with me on trips before will know that I tend to struggle to arrive at the start early. With good intentions, I set the alarm for 5.30. However, I do believe that on trip days, some unseen forces move time forward faster than normal. We were probably only slightly late when I opened the garage door but when Mrs Mango reversed off the drive and lightly clippped my Dad’s car 
parked on the road, the delay was only going to increase. With no significant damage done we finally got on our way and just before the M3, met Mr and Mrs Crunchie (Paul and Mary) in the VX220 a well as David T and Kat in the typically shiny white Tiger.
On to Clacket Lane services via the tedious M3 and M25 where we met Trevor and navigator Danny in a newly Duratec’ed Tiger as well as fellow Fury owner Tony H and navigator Trevor (a different Trevor, you understand).
After another section of motorway dullness, we arrived at Tesco Ashford just off the M20 to brim the tanks where we said a fleeting hello to Neil. Tony’s starter motor problem had resurfaced and the first of several push starts ensued.
With a straightforward check in completed we had time to get a coffee before push starting Tony again. With no queue through customs for a change we had a short wait where Tony left his engine running and then headed down the ramp to the train. Now, Tony had a good plan which meant he would lead us all on to the train so that on disembarking there would be a space ahead for us to push start him. However, for some inexplicable reason, the staff stopped Tony and Trevor just beyond the entry door, then after a short delay, asked me to go on first,
The net result was Tony at the back of the SKCC group. Plan scuppered.
On the train, the extremely hospitable Crunchies distributed Danish pastries to accompany the enforced 1/2 hour coffee break during which the ladies chatted about ladies things…
…and the gents talked about pistons, horsepower and why yellow was the second best colour for a kit car (in case you are wondering, Mango is not yellow). 
Once in France, we set off initially along the scenic coast road before heading inland over some fun, windy roads to a coffee stop at the Garage cafe at Ouve-Wirquin, a recommendation of Rob’s. The cafe looked very interesting through the window – lots of car artifacts but unfortunately it was closed. 
The yellow/blonde moment shown earlier in the thread: I was not paying attention to the satnav and missed a turning and quite reasonably stopped to turn round to go back to said turning. Sods law says that when you do that, the road that you missed will have a sign across it saying “road closed”, thus requiring a second U-turn and giving a perfect opportunity for a passenger in a following white car to take picture of chaos and subsequently take this p1$$. 
So, on to the lunch stop at Diksmuide in Belgium. Some more good fun roads, some appalling road with car jangling surfaces and one that stopped us in our tracks. The satnav said go straight ahead, Unfortunately, the 20 foot high pile of earth and the road closed signs made that a little tricky. With my new high tech 7″ Samsung tablet equipped dashboard giving me access to a downloaded copy of the local area’s Google maps I could see that left was a better diversion than right. And so we reached Diksmuide without further problems where we parked in the attractive town square.
Kat took control of the situation and collected five parking discs so those that had windscreens could display them to show what time they had arrived for their two hours of free parking.
Lunch was taken in the nearest cafe where Danny eagerly tucked into a bowl of spaghetti and those wanting chips were disappointed as it turned out to be illegal to sell chips at the hour we were eating.
The Croque Monsiuers were fine though.
After a bit of under bonnet tinkerage and looking at a well turned out local classic…
…we headed a mile or so up the road to the Trench of Death.
With rain starting to fall, the cars got covered before we entered the site. David melted his cover on the exhaust and received a very sympathetic response from Trevor.
While David scraped the mess off the exhaust, I decided to fit a large Belgian flagpole to the rear of the Fury much to the amazement of Kat.
The musuem visitor centre and the WW1 trenches themselves brought home the pointless waste of effort and life. The trenches even had railway tracks laid through them to move supplies.
There were some examples of the massive artillery items used…
…and very extensive preserved trenches.
With the rain now persistent but not too heavy, we headed for the hotel in France. The first part of the route retraced our steps and of course (well, I say “of course” now but the penny didn’t drop at the time) meant our pile of earth was in the way. In typical French/Belgian style the road closure was long. Very, very long. Credit to Paul for being persistent and finding a way to get back to where we needed to be. Although it involved several roads where it felt likely we would simply end up in a farm yard.
The hotel, La Sapinière in Wisques, was a gem. Thanks to the internet and some favourable online reviews for that. With the cars tucked up for the night, we had a few drinks and some excellent food at reasonable prices, with a pleading-eyes dog running round the table looking for scraps
The owner was slightly Basil Fawlty though. At check in he asked about dinner and we said we were eating with the others. In a French accent: “They said 8.30 but it is too late for me. 8 O’clock would be better, I don’t want to be too late.” Whatever, Monsieur Basil. We were the last out of the restaurant…
PART DEUX – The Rallye, A Top Class Blat and Back to England
Fortunately the overnight rain had stopped by the morning and the car covers had done their job. Once again the curious “time acceleration” happened and Team Mango were the last to be in the car and ready to go.
It was only a 14 mile hop to Aire-sur-la-Lys where the rallye was to start and we arrived in good time to park up in the town square.
There we met up with Rob and Rebecca who had taken the BMW Mini as a stand-in for the ailing Caterham 7. After collecting our rallye plaques and roadbooks, we took advantage of the croissants and coffee and then checked out the impressive array of other cars parked in the square. Before long cars were waved off out of the square…
…and we completed our preparations.
Roadbooks at the ready…
… and high tech rally trip meters primed and ready for action.
The free app on the Samsung tablet has a well laid out screen with the bottom of the screen configured as an easy-to-hit trip reset button. After a few minutes I was concerned that the GPS accuracy was a bit suspect. However, the penny soon dropped and having changed the units from miles to km it was spot-on. Doh!
Apart from simply navigating on the first stage, we had to look for numbers or letters printed on 6″ square boards stuck in the ground. The numbers were entered on a sheet to be handed in at the mid-morning coffee stop at a golf club. I believe Team Mango got a full house as did Team Crunchie.
Stage two was more navigation with the additional task of identifying photographs. All were visible en-route except one. The answer to be written on the sheet was the number of the “imposter” photo. Constantly checking the scene in front of you against the photo sheet is quite taxing whilst checking the normal navigation notes. All was going well with Mrs Mango doing an impressive job but then we came to a queue of rallye cars and it turned out that the road ahead was closed due to some inconsiderate locals having some kind of fete or fayre in the middle of road we were supposed to use. The upside was that we got to lunch quicker having missed out a couple of pages of the route. On arrival at the lunch stop, we had four photos unaccounted for. Two of those, we were told, were on the missed out section leaving a choice of two. As it turns out, both were wrong as we should have spotted them and one scene we (or to be precise, I) thought I had seen wasn’t actually on the route at all.
Never mind the sun was out and had been a joy to be out on the open road. Next, inside for lunch in the village of Licques. Once again, the three course lunch with welcome drink and wine on the table was excellent.
An impressive spread, given the £63 entry fee for TWO people. This really is a great value weekend away.
During lunch Kat decided to flash her chest, nicely showing off her…
…tour T-shirt.
With everyone now feeling a little tired we wandered outside to glorius sunshine and 20 odd degree temperatures and had a look at some more of the classic cars on show.
The final stage, fortunately without any additional tasks over and above the navigating, took us back to Aire-sur-la-Lys through villages where dozens of people were out on the streets waving to the passing cars. The French really are a friendly bunch!
Back in the town square, now baking hot, we mingled with the crowds and watch the prize giving…
…where our own Paul & Mary claimed third prize in the modern car category. Well done!
Before long it was time to head home. The first stop on the ITN was a fuel stop. The garage had been dug up so the TomTom’s came into their own by finding the next nearest source of fuel. Paul then led us back towards the tunnel. The roads I put in the ITN looked good on Google Maps Street View but in reality were even better. It was the best blat of the weekend and the best for many months. Long sweeping bends, rolling hills and some challenging bends all added to the fun. Also, a pheasant added a little more (unwanted) excitement. Paul hit the bird and it exploded in a cloud of flesh and feathers causing hasty brake applications in the convoy behind. I came close to remodelling the back of Trevor’s Tiger.
The feathers survived the entire journey back to Berkshire!
The anticipated queues at the tunnel didn’t materialise and we got on an earlier shuttle and even had time to grab refreshments before boarding. Once off the train at Folkstone it was back to the dull series of motorways before we arrived back home at 21:30 to reflect on another epic French weekend with good food, great driving and time spent with a fabulous group of people. Thanks to one and all for making it a truly memorable and enjoyable experience.
Roll on September when we’ll do it all again 
