Hello there from Hampshire

[Hammy]

Fantastic work mate and YES I want one too! Welcome along

[dreamshack]

Hello again chaps, thanks for all the positive comments. I wonder if you could hep me out a bit, we are going to be running ads in Kit Car magazine from next month. This is the initial draft for a half page ad. Any constructive criticism gratefully received...

[Fury1630]

Like the layout, like the colours, it would attract my attention.

If I was being really nit-picky (I'm guessing that's why you posted it) "Hand built to spec" suggests a turn-key car, "available for a limited period - 1/2 price at just........" seems at odds with that.

Suggest "For a limited period - starter kits 1/2 price at ....."?

Something to make it clear what you're offering for the price, but not too wordy.

Just my thought when I read it.

Hope you do well with it.

[greenwoo]

mm personal opinion, i don;'t like to read 1/2 price unless its a specific item that is obviously marked down for clearance ie/ in the 'sales'.....when it comes to advertsting a product like yours or a services i don't like to read it because it makes me think ' well if they can afford to do it for £x now they must be charging too much normally'......

[dreamshack]

we normally sell for double this price, and I was going to be putting the price back up in a couple of months. (there are reasons to do with winter down time with our charity work that makes it viable to sell cheap at this time of year) Now i have a dilemma Do I make the cheaper price permanent and remove the "half price bit"
I take the criticism about the "hand built" sounding like a turnkey too, I will revise! What I was trying to get at is the fact that they are all one offs so easy to make small changes for the customer, but no space for that!
thanks guys

[Fury1630]

What I was trying to get at is the fact that they are all one offs so easy to make small changes for the customer, but no space for that!

"Bespoke" maybe??

[dreamshack]

Ok, made some changes... Anything else guys?

[dreamshack]

Or this...

[Nash]

Not sure about the strap line? When the tarmac beckons.......the adventure begins To me and I recognise it is me that suggests the adventure is on the road where as the words below suggest the most fun in the mud. Is it not more appropriate to describe the adventure starting when the tarmac runs out?

What about adding a QR code to allow people to link directly to your website?

Hope that helps?

.........Neil

[dreamshack]

I will look into the QR code ( by that i mean find out what it is, hee hee)
Yep, still having trouble with the "as much fun on road as off" thing. The genuinely great thing about these is you get both thrills.